


Still

by xbasermb



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crying, Emotional Hurt, F/F, Hurt, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Love, Mentioned Park Jisoo | Jihyo, Regret, Reminiscing, What-If, Wishful Thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:34:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26583724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xbasermb/pseuds/xbasermb
Summary: It's Nayeon's birthday, she can't sleep. Birthdays are supposed to be fun but why is she crying? She's thinking about a certain someone that she miss.
Relationships: Im Nayeon/Yoo Jeongyeon
Kudos: 15





	Still

**Author's Note:**

> SOOOOOOOOO... I wrote this while listening to Nayeon's cover of Failling by Harry Styles. And I just have to write about it and maybe cry after. I hope you'll enjoy this one. I'm sorry if it's a sad one. :D

* * *

It’s three o’clock in the morning already and she can’t fall sleep, she kept on twisting and turning in her bed and her phone kept on ringing earlier, she had to put it on silent, her members, staffs from the company, family and some of her relatives also fans greeting her, It’s her birthday after all, she got a free day later, she got nothing to worry about.

After having dinner with her members and a couple of drinks because Jihyo insists they should drink, saying that it’s not a party without alcohol, but not all has high tolerance in alcohol like her, and after a few drinks and games all of them decided to call it a night, because all of them got drunk except her and Jihyo.

It’s fun, having her members around to celebrate her with her this year even though there’s one person missing, and that person is all she wants to be with on her birthday.

She puts on her earphone, trying to listen to her cover of Falling by Harry Styles. Then she remembered those times that she’s browsing for songs to cover for her birthday uploads. She initially wants an up-beat songs to hype up the fans but when she heard that song for the first song, she immediately thought about a _certain person_ in her mind, and she choose the song right away.

**[SONG PLAYING:]**

_I'm in my bed_

_And you're not here_

_And there's no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands._

Memories came rushing into her when she heard the first lines of the song, “What a coincidence, I’m in my bed too.”, she thought. Starring at her ceiling trying to remember those memories that she had with that person. She misses her, every single day. Not a day that passes by that she won’t think of that person.

_Forget what I said_

_It's not what I meant_

_And I can't take it back, I can't unpack the baggage you left_

She still remembers the day the person left, it was all of a sudden, nobody knows, not even the other managers, she just left her without saying good bye and all she can do is cry about it, she can’t do anything about the situation, she can’t make her come back, after all it’s her fault why that _person left._

_What am I now? What am I now?_

_What if I'm someone I don't want around?_

_I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm fallin_

She never felt powerless before, she never felt so weak. She’s supposed to be the Unnie in their group, she’s the one supposed to be there for her members when they needed someone to lean on, a shoulder to cry on, but right now, it’s the other way around, she’s the one being taken care of like some glass that’s about to break anytime but they didn’t know that she’s already broken long before they can even notice. When that person left, she felt that she’s all alone again, that she lost her source of strength and her happiness, and she regrets every single bit of it.

_What if I'm down? What if I'm out?_

_What if I'm someone you won't talk about?_

_I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm fallin'_

Regrets and what ifs. That’s all she has left. Even though she has her member showing her support, she has her family loving her in every way and fans that supports her every day, there’s always something missing inside her that only that person can give. But what she can do about it? She can only miss her but she can’t bring her back, and all she wants to do is that person to come back, to her.

_You said you care, and you missed me too_

_And I'm well aware I write too many songs about you_

_And the coffee's out at the Beachwood Cafe_

_And it kills me 'cause I know we've ran out of things we can say_

She felt her heart ache as the tears rolls down her face. She’s crying again but it’s still for that one person. Having so much feelings for one person is bad, but she doesn’t regret it. After their last album, all she can think about is writing again another song, not much to her knowledge but she always gets her inspiration to the girl, even if she won’t admit it, all the songs that she wrote is all about that person. Thinking about it, how can she write again if she lost her inspiration _in the process of loving her?_

**_“I miss you, Jeongyeon.”,_** she whispered in the air, wishing that somehow she’s listening to the song and she’ll get the message but she knows that’s impossible, that whatever she does, it won’t make her listen. That it doesn’t work that way.

_**“I’m really sorry.”,**_ crying as if those tears will tell how much pain she really felt.

Birthdays never felt so sad, she’s supposed to be happy right now, having a good night sleep but instead she’s crying again, in her bed. Hoping Jeongyeon will forgive her in her sleep and wake up okay again. But again, that’s not how it works. She knows that. It’s her fault anyways.

She cheated with another girl and Jeongyeon saw it with her own eyes and Nayeon saw her ran away that night, crying and cursing her at the same time, she never felt so hurt in her life seeing the girl that she loves so much crying because of her stupid mistake. She's stupid and she hurt the girl that gave her everything that she needs and love her with all her heart and if crying every day is one of her punishment for what she did, she’s willing to take it. Hoping for the girl to be able to forgive her, or just see that she regrets everything that she did, she regrets it every single day. 

The song continued to play, and her tears continued to pour out her eyes. She can’t stop, she can’t stop feeling the pain over and over again. She misses her touch, her hugs, her comfort, the way she smiles at her, the way she made Nayeon feel loved every day. She misses the feeling that only Jeongyeon can give. But she’s gone now. And all she can do is to crave for that feeling that she won’t ever feel again.

_And I get the feeling that you'll never need me again_

The song ended but the pain she’s feeling won’t ever stop, those tears won’t stop falling and she won’t stop longing for Jeongyeon. She can’t help it. The girl will always be perfect for her eyes but she’s a fool for committing such crime. She can’t even forgive herself for it but she knows someday, she will.

And one thing that she also knows, she won’t stop loving that person. She won’t stop missing her every day. She won’t stop singing songs for the girl, won’t stop writing for her, hoping it will reach her someday, making her listen, maybe even forgive her and maybe come back to her. She can only hope, for now.

**_“I still love you, Yoo Jeongyeon._** ”, she whispered once again. Hoping that the person will hear her, while she closes her eyes, thinking about the same girl over and over again, trying to find her peace in those memories that she kept.

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY TO TWICE'S BEST GIRL IM NAYEON!! <3 
> 
> Let's all listen to her cover songs because her voice is soooooo good! <33


End file.
